sorademon

I was brought back to realization as the others in the class welcomed him in their loud obnoxious voices chanting out their halfhearted greetings. I realized I was on the edge of my desk my eyes slightly wide. I regained my self and slunk back into my seat not looking up, until I heard someone slip into the chair beside me. I tilted my head up a little to see Damien sitting beside me. “Hi, nice to see we have a class together.” He said warmly placing his backpack onto the ground beside him and pulling out his binder and pencil. “What do you mean?” I asked quietly my head slightly tilting to the side as I watched him and waited for his reply. “Oh I’m just glad I have a class with some one I, well partially know.” He said turning to give me a small smile. I couldn’t help but smile back; His eyes, his eyes, I just couldn’t refuse them. I immediately looked back down at my papers slightly blushing; luckily my hair was covering most of my face so no one would be able to tell.

“Hay Sora wait up.” I grabbed my things and began to walk faster, “damn no not again.” I thought desperately debating if I should break into a run or not. “Hay I said wait up.” A soothing voice called as a hand placed its self on my shoulder. I froze and slowly more calmly turned around. I saw him; he was slightly panting his hand still resting on my shoulder. “You know your pretty fast,” he slightly chuckled regaining his posture and standing straight up. How could I not have noticed before how tall he was he was easily 5 inches taller than me. “So why didn’t you wait when I called you?” he asked his beautiful faced furrowed with the question. “I thought you were James.” I whispered out to him. Looking down again. “Hmm whose that? A boyfriend.” He asked taking his hand off my shoulder, taking a step back and looking around. “Uh, no he’s the boy from earlier.” I said looking up at him, his gaze met mine; I quickly put my head back down. “Oh them.” He said coldly, which seemed so out of place in comparison to his actual self. “You want me to walk you to the front.” He asked looking back behind him again this time a little more concern and anger in his eyes. I looked up slightly puzzled. He saw my expression and continued to explain. “So they won’t come over and mess with you.” He said more warmly down to me from the heavens. “Oh it’s ok you-.” I stopped when I saw the look in his eyes. He really wanted to come… protect me? But why? Why was he doing this why did he want to protect me? I thought angels were supposed to destroy demons; dispose of the sins that walked the earth. “Sure” I whispered up to him. I felt his arm encircle my shoulder. I looked up at him; his eyes were set and determined as they scanned the area before us, watching for the harms that might come. I looked behind me I saw a few people staring; no absolutely glaring, despising me even more with ever step I took. I immediately snapped my head back forward, my heart beginning to pound. “Why were they looking at me? What do they want? It’s coming, it has to, not even this angel can ward off all the ones who are determined to destroy me.” I thought getting more and more panicked. “What’s wrong?” he asked I tilted my head up up, he was looking down at me worried. I swallowed. “Nothing its ok.” He frowned, but didn’t ask any further questions. “Hear have this.” He said placing a small piece of paper into my hand. I looked up confused. “It’s my phone number, call me if you get into any trouble ok.” He smiled down at me. I felt safe and warm when I saw that smile. All I did in return was nod and put the paper into my pocket. He turned and waved as he headed back towards the bus stop.

My Guardian was gone I was alone again to step back into the hell where I belonged. I walked the two miles home my head down my music turned up as high it would go I tried not to breath much, it just seemed so loud like it was going to interrupt the perfect world that the others were living, shatter their serene world, with just the annoying putrid sound of my breathing. I turned the corner into our court. I slowed my steps. I looked up at the camera, the eye that I knew he would be watching from, and now waiting for me. I came to the door and knocked. My sister opened it, and left back to the computer she had just left. I placed my backpack next to the door and slipped off my shoes. I walked quietly down the hall passing the other sister the exact copy of the other one; she glared at me as I passed. I went and pushed open the door; the stereo that had been keeping it shut slid by with the door the cord extending its self as it traveled with the door. I looked to my side, to the other smaller hall that led down to center of my small hell. I stepped forward and stumbled, I had forgotten about the cord. I fell onto the ground knocking over a small pile of CD’s. “No! No, not so soon please no.” I knew it was to late I hastened to put the CD’s back I was trembling, adding more noise as the CD’s clattered in my hands. I could hear the knob from the door that leads to the center of hell turning. I desperately crawled to the corner and curled into a ball trying to hide myself, disappear. “What the fuck is your problem!” the hand slammed into my head once again. “I’m sorry.” I chocked out. “You had better be fucking sorry how dare you break our property!” he blared out at me, kicking me up into the wall. “I’m sorry.” I said it over and over I was. I was so sorry, I was sorry. I stopped then, I just submitted to all the pain and screaming he threw at me I deserved it. I deserve all of it I cant be trusted to do anything right.

 I was outside again; I pulled out the small piece of paper. “Why can’t he see that I don’t deserve to live? What does he want?” Those questions and many others engulfed me pulling me down into my own self-hatred and despise. My father let me back in, and I hid the paper. I walked into the bathroom I turned on the shower, then slowly began to undress I could see my self in the mirror I could see the scars the bruises. I knew I deserved them all, they made me who I was they showed the really despicable thing that I was on the inside. I stepped into the shower the water burning my body, making it turn red from the extreme heat. I sat down and cried. Why? Why did they all hate me so much? Why couldn’t I be the perfect person they all expected me to be? Why did I have to be damned to this life? “I can’t take this, I want out.” I thought. I stood up and reached into the cabinet beneath the sink in the back I could see the dim outline of the steak knife that I had hidden. I reached for it, the water dripping from my body falling onto the floor, and the knife making it glisten. I pulled it out “Good, rid yourself from this world destroy the sin, destroy this despicable unwanted thing.” I went back into the shower where the water burned me again I began to press the knife against my skin it seemed so unreal the black knife in my hand and the water flowing slowly past me. “Damien.” I whispered I let my grip loosen. I wasn’t completely hated their was one person that seemed to accept me. “I want to see what will happen if I stay just a little longer. It’s not wrong I’m just living to be judged by an angel. I’m being judged and I Know I will fail, but for once I just want to feel accepted even if it’s for a while, and by something that will destroy me.” I thought my head starting to pound from the confusion of everything. “I’ll go on for just a while longer.” I thought feeling slightly relived, and then I thought about the hell outside of the closed door and I began to dread my decision.

ok so this is the sccond part of my story its still part of the first chapter but i thought itd be easier to break it up into parts so ill stop talking now andleave you to the story

Part 2

He slowly pulled up the long sleeves that hid my disgusting way of life. I heard him sigh. Then I felt his hand land upon my head; I shrunk back a little, waiting for the pain to come. After a second, and not feeling any thing I looked up. He was staring at me concerned. I looked at him my eyes slightly brimming with tears. “Why didn’t you hit me?” I whispered looking back down at the ground, my hair falling over my eyes forming a barrier around me. I couldn’t look at him he was so beautiful and pure, while me, a disgusting fowl creature had no right to gaze at him, let alone exist at all.

“Why would I hit you? You haven’t done anything wrong.” His voice, it was so clear and melodic like wind charms, and so warm and smooth no hint of bitterness or hatred betrayed it. It seemed to be melting away the fear. But it didn’t make sense what did he mean? I had done something horribly wrong, it was despicable a shame to this world, it would be a shame to any world where such a beautiful creature could exist. “What do you mean I haven’t done anything wrong? Can’t you see arms? I’m horrible I don’t deserve to exist.” I whispered bitterly my voice going up with my last few words; I looked down at the ground. I felt my head being tilted up. Warmth beginning to spread into my face, but I don’t know if it was from the warmth of his hands or from my embarrassment for being seen by him. Once again I was looking into the sea of ice that warmed me.

“Don’t say that you do have a right to exist everyone has a right o exist. Yes I can see it but that doesn’t mean anything.” He said calmly. He let go of my head and pulled up his arm sleeves. I gasped when I saw. Etched over his arms were cuts going in every direction. “So does this mean I’m horrible? That I don’t deserve to live?” he asked me. I looked up; all I could do was shake my head. “Good, so it’s settled we both deserve to live. Now come on lets go.” He stood up and extended his arm to me.

“Where are we going? I wont go to the office.” I said slightly bitterly, placing my hand into his. “We won’t, it’s just that schools going start in 2 minuets and I doubt either of us want o be late.” His voice seeming to enchanting me. He helped pull me up. I stumbled a bit as I stood; I hadn’t realized I was trembling so much. “And your sure your ok?” he asked catching me by my shoulder before I could fall over. I nodded, and looked around I saw my bag in the garbage. As I walked towards it I let out an exasperated moan as I saw my backpack had the words “Emo, Cutter, Loaner, Loser, Shit” written all over it.

“Damn what’s their problem?” I heard him cuss under his breath. I looked around as I pulled it out of the trash. “It’s fine I’ll just wash it out when I get home.” I said nearly choking on the words as they came out. Afraid of what my father would say when he saw it. “I’m so sick of this why can’t they leave me alone. No it’s my fault I shouldn’t have been so bad.” I thought squishing down any pity I was felling for myself.

The bell rang ahead of us and we both turned our heads towards the school “I gott’a go.” He said starting to head off towards the small classroom buildings. “Wait!” I called, I was immediately shocked at myself, why had I done that why had I disrupted him how could I… “Yeah what is it?” He asked stepping back towards me. “Um… I was wondering what was your name?” I was surprised that he could hear e, it had more breathed the question than actually said it aloud. “Oh my names Damien; and yours?” He asked flipping his hair slightly out of his face, but it just trickled back across his eyes into its original position. “It’s Alana but I go by Sora.” I whispered out to him. “That’s pretty you should live by that name be free like the sky.” I looked at him no one knew that’s what Sora meant. It’s a Japanese name that means sky, but most people think of that stupid video game when they hear it. He began to walk off away towards the classes, his stride fluid but also strong, yet so fragile, “How could one look so strong yet so easily able to be broken?” I pondered as I dragged myself to me first class where I knew they’d be waiting to torment me when the teacher had his back turned.

All day I thought about him about his name how an Angel Could have the name of a demon. His eyes, how they seemed to entrance me accept me. “But I can’t believe that I’m evil and disgusting a sin of this world. I have no right to live I only live to make people lives worse”. The thing that I thought about but seemed the hardest to grasp my self around was, his arms. How could something so beautiful have been defiled such as that, his scars were wild dark and cold like a bite from a vicious beast frozen over by the merciless cold, and then again I would think about his eyes and the warm ice that flowed with in them…

“Finally.” I whispered beneath my breath. This was my favorite class Japanese I loved it I loved the language how every symbol was like a tiny piece of art and how the words were like music. Finally it was the last period finally I would be out of this torture, but I would be led back into the real hell that was always their waiting. I took my seat at the back corner; I liked this place because unless people really tried hard to look they wouldn’t have to see the sin that walks along with them in their clean world.

The teacher’s words began “Today we have a new student from Washington, class I would like you to welcome…” I didn’t even hear her last words I heard them in a different voice a cold whisper that sent cold water trickling through my veins “Damien”. The breath seemed to escape me but I didn’t care I was to shocked; once again I was in the presence of perfection in its most imperfect way.

Chapter 1

Angels and Demons

“Why? Why are you doing this?” I try to whisper loud enough to reach his ears. Immediately I feel as if I’ve had a train ram into the side of my head as he throws his fist against me.

“Why am I doing this? What the hell do you mean by why am I doing this! You’ve brought this upon yourself you disgusting little whore!” he screamed at me as I cowered in the corner tear streaming down from my blood shot eyes. “Quit crying!” he bellowed as he landed another blow on me this time catching me on my shoulder. I gasped for breath as the pain seeped through me. “Stand up, stand up and get out of my sight you fucking slut!” I wanted to. I wanted to get up and run, but I was paralyzed by fear. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t even take in a breath of air. “I said get out you stupid bitch!” he roared down to me ripping his hands through my hair, I stood as he threw me down the hall and into the door. “Now get out!” he said throwing me out “You will stay there till I come and get you. Do you understand Me?” He hissed out at me. I nodded before he slammed the door.

I lay there my whole body trembling from the pain and fear. “Why don’t I just run?” I quickly answered my self, “Because he’ll come after you and say it’s your fault and ruin your life just like your mothers.” I looked around. It was starting to rain and all I had on was a torn shirt and pajama shorts. I shivered with the cold of the night. “Its better this way I guess. At least I won’t be able to feel the pain through the numbness,” I thought trying to keep myself calm.

“Get over here now Alana and go to bed.” He said sweetly as he opened the door. I tried to walk as fast as I could past him. I didn’t want to be near him I just wanted to get away… but I knew that it was impossible.

“I’m trying, I’m trying to be good. I don’t mean to be bad. I don’t even know what I did wrong,” I thought as I sat alone in the schoolyard. “What is it that I do that’s so bad? Why can’t I be good like my brothers and sisters? I know it’s not my fault. But it has to be because otherwise he wouldn’t get so mad at me.” I stood up and started to head for the library.

I walked along the edge of the building trying not to be seen by the kids who were walking the opposite direction from the bus stop.

“Hay Emolana,” someone called from behind me. Immediately I felt the wall collide with me. “So you have any new cuts today?” It was James a boy in my first period. He was also a freshman but only because he was an idiot. “So you have any new cuts today?” he asked mockingly. Two boys who were behind him came up and grabbed my arms. I barely even fought them, I knew it was useless and I knew what was coming next. He pulled up my sleeves, where my arms, which were already scattered by scars, had three fresh cuts on them the blood only having just scabbed over. “Tsk, tsk, now what have we told you about cutting?” He asked mockingly. The two boys snickered behind me “You know, I’m getting kind of sick of always trying to teach you that you shouldn’t cut. Maybe I should up the punishment.” Both boys were laughing now.

I looked up at them terrified. What could it be now? Before they would just throw me in a locker, or throw me in the showers. “No wait what do you mean-“ he cut me off

“Oh well it just seems that you need a more extreme punishment is all, you know just to get the point across you know.” He said mockingly as they dragged me off behind the Gym.

They threw me against the wall I curled up trying to hide, but they grabbed my head and yanked it up. I looked at his other hand where he was holding a plastic bag and a rope. “Now don’t worry you’ll be ok.” He smiled down to me at the terrified look in my eyes.

“NO! NO! Ple-!” he cut me off again, this time covering my mouth with his hand now. I saw as one of his little sidekicks picked up the bag and at a nod of James’ head threw the bag over my face. They tied the string around the bottom. I gasped but only managed to pull some of the bag into my mouth I spit it out and screamed.

“Shut-up!” One of the cronies yelled and I felt a kick hit me in the stomach. I gasped for air but again was stopped by the bag.  I tried to rip it off but one of them had my hands. I was beginning to feel light headed and slowly stopped struggling to get away.

“What the fuck do you think you guys are doing!” an angry voice boomed out. I didn’t know who it was. Well really I don’t know much of anyone besides James and his henchmen. “It’s probably your imagination. You’re going under, no one would save a worthless horrible person like me… maybe it’s better if I die, my dad will be happy. He won’t be mad, I wont be tormented anymore.” I just let myself be absorbed by my thoughts. I could hear footsteps. “Yes they’re leaving me here to die. Everything will be good now,” I wishfully thought.

“Hay, hay? Are you ok?” someone pulled the bag off my head. I gasped at the air and continued panting for several seconds. “Are you ok?” Someone asked putting their hand on my shoulder. I looked up at the teen, which I hadn’t seen before.

“Yeah thank you,” I stammered. He was breathtakingly gorgeous, he had short brown and black hair covering part of his face, a lip ring, but mostly I noticed his deep blue eyes. They were like ice, but this ice made me feel warm inside, they just seemed to be so concerned and caring. A look I never remember seeing on any one else’s face before.

“Come on we should get you to the nurse.” He said calmly grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

“No!” I quickly recoiled. “I mean I can’t” He looked down at me confused. I felt myself turning red. I didn’t want to tell him, or anyone else about my cutting what if he did the same as the others.

“Why not?” He asked kneeling back down next to me.

“I don’t want them to know.” I couldn’t resist telling him, his eyes were so trusting, slightly confused with my reply, but still so breathtaking.

“Know what?” he asked sitting next to me on the ground now.

“About my arms.” I whispered I had to answer I couldn’t not tell this angel.

“Can I see?” he asked. I quickly looked away I couldn’t he would hate me. But would that really matter everyone else hated me what was it if we added one more person. I nodded.